Celebgritty Gossip - JT to Fans, "No Groping"...oh and BiBi does something again

Recent reports cite Justin Timberlake's press posse issuing a statement to performance venues that JT is scheduled to appear in: Fans in the front row may touch, but not grab Justin Timberlake. Yes, it's true. Don't believe me? See the link: http://thebosh.com/archives/2007/04/justin_timberlakes_hard_life.php Now, if my girl, WC, were to goto a JT concert, not only would she rassle her way from the nosebleed section up to the front row a la "Mosh Pit", she would grope, grab, and simply MOLLEST JT before he could even get out "I'm Bringing Sexy..." WHOP! Yep, that WC all right...

In more JT news, the Hot One recently confessed that he was a Teenage Weirdo. Okay...WHO WASN'T??? However, I always knew JT was a strange bird. Case in point, back in the mid 90's, yours truly worked at Universal Studios and would throw massive parties (at someone else's house) where lots of underage drinking could happen. During one such shindig, JT shows up with Joey FatOne. Shortly afterwards, my girls, 5 Dolla, and Amazon Pixie Fairy (APF for short) with the Chronic and thats when the party kicked in. Now, APF was a very strange bird...she was the Molly Ringwald from "Pretty In Pink" meets the Allie Sheedy from "The Breakfast Club", but APF didn't scratch her dandruff out onto her desk...nah, she weren't that wierd. Moving on...during the party, JT migrated to APF and the two chatted the night away at the table over a whole bag of chips...yep, weirdos attract.

Finally, in other Celebgritty Gossip: BiBi was spotted driving around Los Angeles in her convertible with the top down and blaring JT's CD "FutureSexLoveSounds"; more namely his hit track, "My Love". Mmm Hmm...BiBi definitely harboring some delusions of grandeur...no word on if BiBi's breast breast also was enjoying the top down...

Next week, SkinnyDipping Dogs and South Florida Eskimoes.

Celebgritty Gossip - JT's Derriere of Mystery

Current Pop sources report that JT begged the director of his new movie, Black Snake Moan, to remove shots of his bare ass from the film (see: http://www.andpop.com/article/9005). First off, what is JT so ashamed of? After all, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and even Leonardo DiCaprio have dropped trou and bared some ass in at least ONE of their flicks...why not JT? Damn, he ain't THAT hot to be so arrogant. My guess is, JT has a really hairy ass or a huge BOIL on his butt and didn't want anyone to see it. Sigh...it's a shame to be so young, yet so prudish.

In other JT Celebgritty Gossip, dumb DJ Jock Itch from the XL 106.7 morning show in Orlando stated that JT & Trian Wreck Cameron were back together...no no, a thousand times NO! Say it ain't so...well, apparently it really AIN'T so. I can find NO confirmation that this rumor is true...so, until I do find the truth, we'll just assume that JT hasn't jumped back onto the Diaz Bandwagon.

Fat One's Baldness & BiBi on Coke? Nope, just Pepsi...

Happy Hump Day kiddies! I was watching that dancing show with washed up celebrities the other day and happened to notice that Fat One's hair was looking VERY unnaturally dark. First, when one sees the "practice" clip of he and his partner dancing, one can very clearly see a dissapearing hair line on the Fat One. However, when it came time for his performance, Fat One's hair is darker and...chunkier. Now, I'm not one to perpetuate rumors, but LAWD! Fat One just needs to shave his head bald AKA Joey Lawrence (coincedence on the first names). He'll gain much more respect and at the same time INCREASE his hotness! If I had photoshop (u listenin' 5 Dolla?) I'd post a pic of what Fat One would look like as a baldy...maybe in a future post.

In other Celebgritty gossip, the walking disaster that is Britney Spears, AKA Bibi, finally settled with her ex-Wife, FedEx, over custody and alimony agreements. So what does she do to celebrate? Why, she goes to Las Vegas of course! However, Bibi insists she is there on a "low-key" holiday with her closest gal pals. She was recently spotted at the Tao Asian Bistro on the Strip doing Coke...no wait, it was a Pepsi, as the "Lucky" Chick gushes at the papparazzi. No confirmation as to what BiBi and her friends were doing at the "Thunder from Down Under" male strip show...let's hope that all this madness surrounding BiBi finally settles and we can focus on a REAL celebrity...like Angelina Jolie...she's so perfect.

Celebgritty Gossip - Ohh Lawd! Justin & Britney - Together Again?

My Girl, WC, will simply LOATHE this news...rumors abound that JT recently approached BiBi to record a single with her to help put the spark back into her falling career...okay...first, is JT DESPERATE or is he simply just the sweetest guy out there? I mean, this is the same guy who made 'Cry Me a river' and 'What goes around comes around' and now he's ready to forgive? I guess he decided BiBi has been through enuf already...

In OTHER BiBi related news...headlines confirm that while BiBi was recently attending church to cleanse her sinning soul, after the services, paparrazzi were predictably hounding for photos. Well, Ms. BiBi certainly didn't hear the sermon about loving thy neighbors, cuz Ms. Stank had her armed bodyguard pull a gun on the guy, then yanked the PhotoHog out of his car and proceeded to cuff him. This is a Bodyguard or is it RoboCop? Damn...BiBi got some serious issues...she was later photographed giggling about the incident...beware Paparrazzi of Britney Spears! She'll have you killed!

D's 'Do of the Week - The PonyHawk

I broke my self-proclaimed oath to not watch American mIdol this season whatsoever! Alas, last night, being in an unusually sociable mood, I watched the wretched show with the roomies. Boy, am I glad I did! I got to witness the introduction of the PonyHawk! Created by that little queer boy, Sanjaya, the PonyHawk will soon be the latest rage! Everyone will want a PonyHawk! I can just see the commercials now...New! From TV Creations, comes the PonyHawk Maker! I simply HAD to vote for Sanjaya after that! G'on Gurl! Work that PonyHawk!

Celebgritty Gossip - Joey Fat One

I'm sure all of you are just gushing over Fat One's performance on that Dancing show for washed-up celebrities, but I bet you all NEVER knew this secret the former InSyncker probably doesn't want you to know. Mr. Fat One enjoys having his fat one pleasured while wrapped in a Fruit Roll Up! It's true! Choice of flavor is not known, but I'm assuming it's either Grape or Strawberry and of course, should always be determined by the person "eating" the fruit roll up. I will never reveal my source, but it is a very well trusted former plaything of the fat one that has had the apparently lucky privilege of finding out how many licks it's takes to get to the center of...well, you get the picture. Now, whether or not his member really IS a Fat One has yet to be seen by yours truly, but I've heard it's not very impressive. However, the man IS Italian...so what does THAT tell you?!

Celebgritty Sighting - Matthew McConaughey - STANK!

While the latest entertaintment headlines report McConaHOTTIE in California filming his new movie, "Surfer Dude", other sources report Matthew hobnobbing elsewhere. No, not South Beach, but a little farther north in Orlando. My good friend, DR, reported that Mr. Alright Alright Alright was spotted today at Universal Orlando apparently enjoying a little R&R...during the beginning of Spring Break week, no doubt.

Long lines and swealtering CenFla humidity apparently do not bode well with former Mr. Cruz. It is reported that several tourists were complaining about Matthew's abhorent Body Odor! Long an internet rumor, apparently it IS true that he does NOT wear deoderant. However, judging what the Europeans are saying (and that is saying A LOT), I'd advise he invest some of his millions in something to control his putrid smell. C'mon, Matthew! You're RICH! You don't have to buy the expensive stuff from Armani or Chanel; BAN works just as well, homey! So please, take my advice; tomorrow, before you leave your hotel room and head to Disney, Sea World, or even ViMi, stop at the nearest convenience, grocery, or big box retailer and buy a stick of deoderant. Your fans will appreciate you for it!