For lunch today, I decided to take the trek a few blocks away from the office to partake in oh so yummy Boston Market. I had a craving for the turkey Carver with some delicious spinach casserole, savory stuffing, and an ice cold coke. I walk into the establishment, order my food, and am patiently waiting in line for my delicious lunch. As I waiting, in walks my good friend, Porsha, the 7 feet tall, African-American drag queen. Porsha was looking ever so fabulous today with her vinyl dress, stilletoes, and she just had her "hur did" in honor of St. Patty's Day; long braids with some green "hur" weaved in. To use my girl, NiNi's, words, "it were good".
Anyways, I begin chatting with Porsha, who begins a lively tryrade against some dudes who were trying to holler at her from their best-friend's ride...SCRUBS. Porsha flicked them off and pulled into Boston Market. Well, I guess the Scrubs followed her, because she and I suddenly hear raucious laughter coming from the entrance...In walks the Scrubs. Porsha rolls her eyes and proceeds to tell me about the leprechaun she'll be funking after lunch. One of the Scrubs just can't seem to take "no" for an answer, tho, because he begins to harrass poor Porsha. "Ohh, look at the tall drink of hot chocolate there!" one of them said. Another said, "I'd like to melt that in my mouth..." It got worse.
Porsha, never one to take any bullshit, then turned around, grabbed one of the scrubs in a headlock and proceeded to strip the man right there in Boston Market, all the while beating him over the head with her fake Louis Vouitton bag (she doesn't know that it's fake, so lets just keep that between us). The Scrub's friends didn't know what to do, and it all happened so fast, they had no time to react. After the embarrassing episode, Porsha decides to make his life worse and that is when she pulled up her vinyl skirt, pulled down the matching green panties, and took a huge SHIT in the Scrub's face.
The good patrons of Boston Market did not know what to do, nor did the scrub and his friends. Absolutely disgusted, some of the diner's left in addition to the Scrub and his friends high-tailing it out of the restaurant...all the while Porsha is throwing handfulls of shit at them.
What an interesting St. Patty's Day this is turning out to be...
Monday, March 17, 2008
Spattergroit Outbreak!
Be warned, dear bloggers! There is a severe case of Spattergroit invading the SinFla area; Orlando in particular. The above picture details a very nasty case of the 'groit, or maybe it's just a very sad attempt to cover up multiple moles & birthmarks via tattooing. Whatever the case may be, in an effort to avoid catching such nastiness, one must stay away from cult members and religious hypocrites. If this IS a tattoo, then I must ask...WHO THOUGHT OF THIS DESIGN? Methinks it's the tat's recipient...there is no tattoo artist I know that would even dream of claiming this monstrousity as their own creation. What the fuck is it??? A bubblegum drop tree? Multiple balloons protruding from a bolt of lightning? It looks like someone stuck half-sucked Jolly Ranchers all over this person...
In any case...AVOID THE GROIT!
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