Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Celebgritty Gossip - Ohh Lawd! Justin & Britney - Together Again?

My Girl, WC, will simply LOATHE this news...rumors abound that JT recently approached BiBi to record a single with her to help put the spark back into her falling career...okay...first, is JT DESPERATE or is he simply just the sweetest guy out there? I mean, this is the same guy who made 'Cry Me a river' and 'What goes around comes around' and now he's ready to forgive? I guess he decided BiBi has been through enuf already...

In OTHER BiBi related news...headlines confirm that while BiBi was recently attending church to cleanse her sinning soul, after the services, paparrazzi were predictably hounding for photos. Well, Ms. BiBi certainly didn't hear the sermon about loving thy neighbors, cuz Ms. Stank had her armed bodyguard pull a gun on the guy, then yanked the PhotoHog out of his car and proceeded to cuff him. This is a Bodyguard or is it RoboCop? Damn...BiBi got some serious issues...she was later photographed giggling about the incident...beware Paparrazzi of Britney Spears! She'll have you killed!

D's 'Do of the Week - The PonyHawk

I broke my self-proclaimed oath to not watch American mIdol this season whatsoever! Alas, last night, being in an unusually sociable mood, I watched the wretched show with the roomies. Boy, am I glad I did! I got to witness the introduction of the PonyHawk! Created by that little queer boy, Sanjaya, the PonyHawk will soon be the latest rage! Everyone will want a PonyHawk! I can just see the commercials now...New! From TV Creations, comes the PonyHawk Maker! I simply HAD to vote for Sanjaya after that! G'on Gurl! Work that PonyHawk!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Celebgritty Gossip - Joey Fat One

I'm sure all of you are just gushing over Fat One's performance on that Dancing show for washed-up celebrities, but I bet you all NEVER knew this secret the former InSyncker probably doesn't want you to know. Mr. Fat One enjoys having his fat one pleasured while wrapped in a Fruit Roll Up! It's true! Choice of flavor is not known, but I'm assuming it's either Grape or Strawberry and of course, should always be determined by the person "eating" the fruit roll up. I will never reveal my source, but it is a very well trusted former plaything of the fat one that has had the apparently lucky privilege of finding out how many licks it's takes to get to the center of...well, you get the picture. Now, whether or not his member really IS a Fat One has yet to be seen by yours truly, but I've heard it's not very impressive. However, the man IS Italian...so what does THAT tell you?!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Celebgritty Sighting - Matthew McConaughey - STANK!

While the latest entertaintment headlines report McConaHOTTIE in California filming his new movie, "Surfer Dude", other sources report Matthew hobnobbing elsewhere. No, not South Beach, but a little farther north in Orlando. My good friend, DR, reported that Mr. Alright Alright Alright was spotted today at Universal Orlando apparently enjoying a little R&R...during the beginning of Spring Break week, no doubt.
Long lines and swealtering CenFla humidity apparently do not bode well with former Mr. Cruz. It is reported that several tourists were complaining about Matthew's abhorent Body Odor! Long an internet rumor, apparently it IS true that he does NOT wear deoderant. However, judging what the Europeans are saying (and that is saying A LOT), I'd advise he invest some of his millions in something to control his putrid smell. C'mon, Matthew! You're RICH! You don't have to buy the expensive stuff from Armani or Chanel; BAN works just as well, homey! So please, take my advice; tomorrow, before you leave your hotel room and head to Disney, Sea World, or even ViMi, stop at the nearest convenience, grocery, or big box retailer and buy a stick of deoderant. Your fans will appreciate you for it!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

And Now, for your moment of Ahh...


One of my favorite actors and perhaps the most beautiful man alive...Colin Farrell...Ahhhh...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Child of the 80's and a Teen in the 90's

Do you sometimes find yourself longing for the days gone by? When all you had to worry about was catching the next episode of Jace and the Wheeled Warriors or Bravestar? If so, then you're part of the group demographers like to call the MTV Generation. This is the generation that falls in between Generation X and Y. We weren't around to witness the advent of Pong and we just don't get the fascination with the Backstreet Boys. In our teen years, not many Hollywood films were aimed toward our demographic with the exception of Pump up the Volume. Thus, with an aim to add some knowledge to the subject of the MTV Generation, I've compiled a list of things that members of this generation in particular will remember enjoying. Lemme know if I've missed anything!

You are a member of the MTV Generation if:

  • Saturday morning cartoons were something to look forward to. They were always preceded by Kids Incorporated and started with the Snorks.
  • Movies such as the Goonies, Gremlins, and ET still hold a special place in your heart.
  • You and your friends would always wonder if in Michael Jackson's Beat It, the word "Funky" was allowed to say.
  • Roller Skating on Friday nights with your friends was the coolest thing to do.
  • For the girls, Jelly anything. Bracelets, shoes, belts, you name it; jelly was the way to go.
  • For the boys, rat tails, rolled up sleeves, and the ear ring in the left ear.
  • Stonewashed/Acid Washed jeans with the strategically placed hole over the knee...and they sold for $30.
  • Reebok high tops.
  • LA Gear
  • The Simpsons, In Living Color, and SNL when Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, and Adam Sandler were still relative unknowns.
  • If you lived in the inner city, or ghetto, then the Color Purple, Lean on Me, Coming to America, New Edition, Fab 5 Freddy, JJ Fad, DJ Magic Mike, and Miami Bass were all your thang. Some of your top jams were most likely LL Cool J's "I Need Love", Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative", and Public Enemy's "Fight the Power".
  • the Trapper Keeper
  • Anyone remember Fraggle Rock?
  • Atari 2600, ColecoVision, and Nintendo occupied hours of your time.
  • PogoBall is what they call it...
  • My Buddy, My Buddy, wherever I go, He Goes!
  • LiteBrite, LiteBrite, turn on the magical colored lights!
  • For the girls, Strawberry Shortcake, The Easy Bake Oven, My Little Pony, JEM, Shee-Ra, and Cut N Gro.
  • For the Boys, GI Joe, He-Man, the Transformers, StarWars, Hot Wheels, Matchbox, Lego's, and Slime Time.
  • the Sit N Spin
  • The Big Wheel
  • Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, New Kids on the Block, Milli Vanilli, Guns N Roses, The Beastie Boys, Prince, Michael Jackson, The Thompson Twins, Madonna, and Poison were part of your music collection...on cassettes!
  • Our Favorite Movies: The Last Unicorn, Annie, The Princess Bride, The Lost Boys, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Transformers The Movie, Summer Camp Nightmare, Children of the Corn, Adventures in Babysitting, Airplane, and Back to the Future to name a few.
  • Poltergeist scared the living hell out of you and you could never sleep with your closet door open ever again after seeing it.
  • Michael Jackson's Thriller was the scariest video you'd ever seen.
  • You never knew the real meaning of Cyndi Lauper's She Bop until you were older.
  • Madonna's Like a Virgin made parents face the annoying question from their 7 year old's; "What's a virgin?"
  • Never Talk to Strangers
  • Just Say No!
  • We were the prototypes for DARE, Middle School, and block scheduling.
  • We witnessed the fall of the Berlin Wall in our 11th grade History class.
  • We witnessed the birth of New Wave, Hip Hop, Grunge, and we remember when Alternative music was just that; ALTERNATIVE.
  • We never thought Green Day would last this long.
  • The Cold War and all those Doomsday movies that came with it such as Red Dawn, The Day After, and WarGames.
  • We witnessed the rise of the computer, the VCR, the microwave oven, cellphones, the remote control and now don't know how we'd ever live without them.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Strange Developments

I arrive to work this morning and perform my usual tasks; checking interoffice email, opening neccessary apps to work, then I try to check the news online when I notice that my internet is not working. It appears that the powers that be here at [Name Withheld] Corp. have required all empl's to use a standard "proxy server" in order to get onto the internet. In other words, we're wasting too much goddamn time emailing on Gmail, Yahoo, etc, perusing MySpace and paying our bills that no work is being done. Thus, I'll resign to just checking my personal shit at home. Sigh...there goes all the fun at work!